Friends in Winter

Hello, Winter.

Today is the first day of Winter. Better known as Winter Solstice. But from where I’m sitting you wouldn’t even know it.

Today’s projected high...72 degrees. Happy, Spring! Okay, maybe Fall. But Winter?

For everything there is a season. And for Louisiana there are only two. Summer and Springish.

Growing up in Maine seasons were my thing. Especially Fall. Leaves turning colors that can’t be described, brisk clean air hitting your face. Jackets and Hoodies and Snow, Oh my!

Seasons. Everyone has their favorite.

There’s a song about seasons that I love, the lyric you may be familiar with goes a little something like this, “Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall all you have to do is call and I’ll be there, you’ve got a friend.”

Wow. I love that. That sounds promising. Anytime. No matter the season you’ll be there? Sign me up for a friendship like that.

Great lyric. Catchy lyric. Hopeful lyric. True Lyric?

Truth be told friendships change.

You can call them life cycles, stages or seasons. The bottom line is life changes, and our relationships change with it. It gets increasingly harder for women to define our friendships when we are experiencing so many changes in our lives.

Are we besties? Acquaintances? Neighbors? Co-workers? Daycare drop-off buddies? Carpool line gals? I mean what is a friend anyway?

When Seasons change so do our friendships, they morph into something we may not be familiar with and we start thinking we are friendless, when really the dynamic of friendships has simply changed.

Enter Winter.

Any woman who’s been in a winter season of life will honestly tell you it’s tough.

Your 30-year marriage is busted. Your drug-addicted friend is missing. Your anxiety is back with a vengeance. Your pennies are gone and so is your sanity. Your prayers feel empty and useless.

When we’re in a winter season we’re just cold. And If we’re not careful, we’ll get bitter, close all the windows, and only come out for the Holidays! Maybe.

During this season our relationships take a backseat and we begin to focus on our own survival, safety, and sanity. But we cannot let Winter have its way. We must bundle up and meet our world with a broken heart and empty hands.

Sounds good. But it’s not easy. We need some friends in this season and they need us.

Let’s go back in time. Like way back. 1300 B.C. There we find a woman named Naomi in a Winter Season.

Life had not gone as planned. Her sons were dead and she felt like dying, too. It was bad. She literally changed her own name to Orpah or “Bitter.” Have you ever been there? Are you there right now?

Thank God, she had a daughter-in-love named Ruth who refused to leave her in her time of need.

Ruth’s decision to stick with Naomi through her Winter got her on the short list of women with a Book of the Bible.

Naomi wanted her to leave.

In Winter we just want to be left alone.

When Naomi told her to go ‘Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said nothing more.’ Ruth 1:16-18 (NLT)

In our winter seasons we need some Ruth’s in our life.

Question? Answer.

• Is it good to be alone in the Winter? - NO. Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NLT)

In our winter seasons we need people. Plain and simple. If we’re alone we'll get blindsided, beat down, blasted, and blizzarded. (add that to Webster's)

Questions? Answers.

How can I be a good friend when I don’t feel like being a friend at all?

• Pray. If you know Jesus, talk to Him. A lot. Out Loud. All the Time.

• Lean In. Not out. Do not isolate yourself. Do not spend all of your time alone.

• Be Vulnerable. Let God and your friends know what’s really going on. Really. Pick 2 or 3 friends to let in all the way during this time.

• Open up your mouth and yell, “Help!”Don’t suffer in silence! Just don’t. It’s not safe. It’s not smart. This is not the season to be mute.

What do I need from my friends in this season?

• Unconditional Love. Because conditions are not the best right now.

• Honesty. Someone to tell you the truth. Someone to tell you the truth. Someone to tell you the truth. For real.

• Prayer. You need some prayer warriors in this season. This is a time when you need some people in your circle that have been walking with the Lord longer than you, that have walked a time or two, victoriously from winter to spring.

• Obnoxiousness. I think I made that word up, but you know what I’m saying. They are not going to let you go quietly into the night. They will fight for you and your sanity. They will text you three times a day and email you some Scriptures every morning, and show up at your house unannounced.

There are some upsides to winter seasons. When Winter ends, Spring begins.

When you come out of Winter take a look around. The people by your side at the end of your cold season get to celebrate with you in the Spring!

Let me ask.

Are you in a Winter Season? If so. Who knows? Tell Jesus, absolutely. Then tell someone else, make a new friend if you have to, take off your mask and show your face.

Have you survived a Winter Season? If so. What did you learn? What got you through to the Spring? Look for the signs of Winter in your friends and let your obnoxiousness begin!